


Love potion Number....5?

by Kanra_chan



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Blowjobs, Egyptian magic stuff, F/M, Fluff, Fun, Humor, Like it's not really a love potion but it is, Love potions but not, M/M, Magic, Scarab Beetle, Thirty-fourth and Vine, gypsies, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-01-25 16:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12536568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanra_chan/pseuds/Kanra_chan
Summary: Halloween is right around the corner, Celty is throwing a party, and no Izaya you can't come!When Shizuo is collecting a debt on his own, a mysterious gypsy trades him a magic potion instead of the money she owes. He (begrudingly, of course) accepts, and that's when things start to change. What will happen, so close to the holliday of demons? Come find out!





	1. I Took My Troubles Down To Madam Ruth, You Know That Gypsy Who's Fucking Insane?

**Author's Note:**

> Yup!! Halloween story!! Yeah sorry I didn't tell ya'll about this one, but I wanted to keep one a surprise~
> 
> This one SHOULD update pretty frequently and may run a bit after Halloween, so check frequently for updates! <3

Once a year the Japanese have the Obon Festival, the festival of the dead. They light lanterns and visit graves to honor their ancestors, and those ancestors are said to be at family shrines as well. There’s even a special dance, and this all takes place early August.Still, in a city as big as Ikebukuro in a time where information is just a click away it’s not surprising that other traditions and celebrations from all around the world might become popular.

Halloween, for one. Not the candy so much, but the younger generations enjoy dressing in costumes and sometimes holding halloween parties. Now normally Shizuo wouldn’t be the type to particularly care about any of this, let alone participate, but Celty had decided to invite everyone to a hayride and bonfire celebration. Costumes, a date, and participation was required.

“I say you just go to a bar, meet someone, and ask them to go!” Tom said enthusiastically, smiling at his friend. The very idea made Shizuo scowl, shaking his head and huffing.

“Only desperate  creeps do that, Tom-san. And I already have a bad reputation as it is…” He sighs.

“Oh, c’mon. You’re a good looking guy, if you combed your hair and smiled I’m sure you could find someone to take right away. And, who knows? Maybe it’ll lead to more!” He persists, staring at Shizuo with all the confidence of a normal and handsome man. Shizuo didn’t have those advantages. A monster, fueled by fury and dehumanized by the people around him. He didn’t really blame people, his fury was his own after all, but maybe if everyone weren’t so damn irritating he wouldn’t be so damn angry.

“Oh, shit…” Tom sighs, drawing Shizuo’s attention once again. He’s holding his phone, good mood ruined and taken over by concern Shizuo sees right away. “I gotta run, my niece is in the hospital.”

“Is she okay?” Shizuo asks, brow furrowing with concern, though he’s never met her.

“They’re not sure. Do you mind doing the last one? It’s just an elderly woman, she doesn’t owe much either.” Tom says, and he agrees right away. After all, how many times has he run off in the middle of a job just to chase Izaya?

“Of course. Tell me how she is later.” He nods, smiling gratefully and waves down a taxi. A few moments later Shizuo gets a text with the address, and it turns out the shop is just a few blocks away. It doesn’t take him long to arrive, but we he does there is only a vacant lot where the shop is supposed to be. A group of teenagers walk past the lot. They’re dressed up like the characters from Sargent Space, a popular 90s anime, and it makes him smile when he see’s someone’s little sister has tagged along in a cute cat onesie.

“Ahem.” Shizuo jerks his gaze forward when someone clears their throat, and finds a little old lady before him. She’s smirking, eyes sharp and playful in the way they shouldn’t be for someone of her age. Her outfit is odd too, but he can’t put his finger on what to call the youthful style. “Are you here to collect the debt?” She asks, though the way she’s looking at him he’s certain she knows the answer already.

“Yes ma’am.” He’s polite, as he always is to his elders and women, especially.

“Ooh, what a gentleman!” She laughs, bordering a mocking sound than the delighted response he typically gets. “Come on in.”

“In where?” He asks, but when he glances up he finds a shop in front of him, old but mysterious. She holds the door for him, which makes him feel ashamed that he didn’t think to hold it for her. He’s sure now she’s mocking him. _‘Maybe she’s Izaya’s Grandmother...’_

“I’m a bit short on cash…” She tells him, once they’re in the shop. It’s filled with bottles, with English letter and numbers on them. He doesn’t remember much of his English classes in school, but he can tell the letters aren’t complete words so he has no idea what they stand for.

“We could give you an extension,” He says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Of course we’d need to increase the price, but you don’t owe much so it wouldn’t be that bad-”

“How about we make a deal?” She interrupts, smiling coyly. “I owe about 7,900 ($70) yen, right? You don’t look that poor, help an old lady out and buy one of my magic elixirs." She says, gesturing around the room with a grand sweep of her hand. 

“Your bottles cost that much?!” He gasps, eyes the tiny bottles lined on shelves around the room. He notices a pot- no, a cauldron, in the center of the room. “Are you a witch…” He asks suddenly, dread building when he thinks of yet another threat to Ikebukuro. _‘Why is it always THIS city… go destroy Shinjuku for once!’_

“Heavens, no!” She exclaims, laughing. “That’s just for decoration!”

“Oh, I see.” He laughs with her, shoulders losing their tension and alarm fading away.

“I’m a gypsy.”

“What-?!”

“Do we have a deal or not?” She asks, and he hesitates. 7,900 yen could buy his lunch for over a week, but if this old woman can’t pay her debt then eventually someone will come and try to collect somehow. It might not be him, and some of the other debt collectors could be awfully cruel…

“Okay.” He sighs, feeling better about throwing money away when she brightens up. She reaches for his hand, and his chest puffs a little for the gratitude he’s surely about to receive.

“Ugh, what ugly lines you have.”

“Huh?”

“I said you have ugly lines, are you deaf?” She’s flipped his hand over so it’s palm up, and her bony fingers are running along the lines and scars in the center.

“Some of those are scars…” He protests, and she shoots a glare at him.

“I can see that! It doesn’t make them less meaningful, though. Or less ugly.” She mutters, nodding to herself. _‘Ahh, just like Izaya. Rude, AND crazy.’_

“You sure think about him a lot.”

“I do not!” He snaps, before his eyes go wide. “I mean, uh... who?” Shizuo tries, because no way is crazy grandma Orihara in his head. But staring down at the wrinkled old gypsy before him, who’s still holding his hand and looking at him like he’s stupid, he starts to wonder which of them is crazy.

“The gay Eskimo.” Comes the answer, and her tone suggests this is somehow obvious. Apparently for old gypsies, reading minds were as common as flying vending machines.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” He says, itching for a smoke now. She just rolls her eyes and wanders over to the other side of the store. It takes her a minute, searching the labels that look like random nonsense to Shizuo, and comes back with a tiny vial filled with green liquid and something else.

“Is that a beetle....?” Shizuo asks, inching away. 

“Drink this, all of it and don’t leave a drop.”

“That looks like a beetle.”

“You might feel dizzy but it should fade quickly. After that, go where your heart takes you.”

“I’m not drinking that beetle.”

“Don't forget my debt is paid once you drink this.”

“Just keep the bottle.” He sighs. She stares at him, and for a moment he thinks she's going to be angry. Then, she smiles and nods. Unscrewing the glass top of the little vial, the old woman holds it up and inhales through her nose, sighing sweetly at the smell. 

“It may look this way, but it has a wonderful smell.” She says sweetly, holding it out for him to take a whiff. With some hesitation, he does, leaning in and he wrinkles his nose.

“Ugh, it smells like turpentine-UGH!?” He chokes when she shoves the bottle in his mouth, a bony but strong hand grabbing the back of his hair and forcing him to bend backwards. It slides slowly down his throat as he struggles to stand without knocking the crazy old lady down. She’s surprisingly strong, and doesn’t budge even when he starts thrashing at the feel of something crawling along his tongue.

“Shhh.” She hushes him, tossing the now empty bottle behind her carelessly and covering his mouth with her now free hand. The beetle crawls further along, legs sticking and pulling his skin some with every step it takes and it makes him gag.

"A-augh!" He gasps, starting to shake in disgust now. _'It's ALIIIIVE! in my mouth...!'_

“Just swallow.” She advises, and he does just to make it stop. After a few frantic gulps the bug slides down, and Shizuo somehow keeps his lunch, though just barely.

“What the fuck?!” He gasps, when she releases him. In his anger his fist shoots out, knocking down a shelf full of pink and black filled bottles. Amazingly, they don’t shatter.

“Okay, we’re done here.” She says, pushing him towards the door. “Out now, little man! You’ve got to go do fate stuff. Destiny, and all that. Go, go!” He stumbles out the door, air whooshing behind him with the swing of the door closing. He decides to just go, and doesn’t look back.

He’s afraid if he does, the shop will be gone.


	2. I Told Her That I Was A Flop With Chicks, It's Been This Way Since I Had A Dream A Gay Eskimo Gave Me A Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, well I felt disturbed by something I saw today so here's a happy chapter posted today! I was gonna wait but we need this. I had most of it written yesterday anyway XD

_‘Damn, what did she give me?’_ He wonders, frowning hard as he walked along the busy sidewalks of Ikebukuro. As usual, people were bustling about everywhere with excitement thrumming through the crowds.

There was a chill to the air, and soon he’d have to switch to his winter uniforms. Well, if he still had ant. Last winter Izaya had received some new knives from “Santa-san” (probably himself) and decided to test them out on Shizuo’s poor clothes. Skin could at least heal itself, but cotton could not.

 _‘Shitty flea.’_ He thinks, frowning. He’s lucky to not have seen him around for a few days, and he prays the pest will stay away from Celty’s Halloween party.

 _‘Shit…I still need a date.’_ He realizes, frowning to himself. Checking his watch he see’s it’s already 6:24 PM and the sun is going down. He could try going to a bar Like Tom suggested...but a glance down at himself shows blood stains on his uniform and if he were going to try that he’d at least not want to be so obvious about who he is.

 _‘I’m off tomorrow.’_ He decides. _‘I’ll try then.’_   Pulling out his cellphone, he shoots off a quick text to Celty. If he’s going to try and pick someone up, he’ll need some clothes and he has zero fashion sense. You’d think asking a headless fairy about fashion would be a bad idea, but she’s got surprisingly good taste.

* * *

“Are you sure?” He asks, inspecting the fabric in his hands.

[Absolutely!] Celty replies on her phone, nodding her helmet enthusiastically. She takes a moment to type some more, fingers flying over the screen. [Simple is best.]

“It just...I expected something a little flashier.” Shizuo says, because surely one shirt won’t make that much difference.

[Flashy is bad!] Celty insists, shivering a little. [Flashy guys are always so creepy, they brag about the strangest things and try to touch you without permission!]

“Shinra is flashy.” Shizuo says, staring at her. “And he does those things…”

[He’s not flashy, he’s strange.] She crosses her arms, shoulder tensing in an embarrassed manner when she flicks a shadow out to hold the phone close to his face, like she’s afraid someone else will see. [And he has permission…]

“Do I really have to bring a date?” He tries, shifting his weight from one foot to another subtly.

[Yes! It’s a couples Halloween party! You have three days, and wearing that you’ll have no trouble.] She puts a hand on his shoulder, and he smiles back at her.

“Okay, I’ll trust you on this. Thanks for your help.” They head to the register together. He hopes it’ll help, because he can’t help but notice how the cashier's hands shake when she sees him and rings up his shirt. Poor girl looks petrified when she drops his change, but he assures her it’s no problem.

[Good luck! Remember, just that and your usual pants, nothing else! ] Celty types to him when they part ways, waving as she hops on Shooter. He waves back and heads home, shirt bagged and sighing to himself. He heads to bed early that night, though his sleep is restless and filled with dreams of beetles and gold capped teeth.

* * *

 _‘This is stupid.’_ He thinks, glaring down at his newly bought shirt. It’s nothing fancy, just a navy blue button down, but he feels incredibly stupid all the same. It’s amazing how a simple shirt can throw him miles out of his comfort zone.

He’d woken up that morning feeling fine, so whatever had been in the vial hadn’t brought any ill effects. So he’d carried on with his day as usual, used the bathroom and brushed his teeth while still half asleep, fixed breakfast still half asleep, and spent the rest of the morning watching TV. Around 3:00 pm, he’d skipped lunch, he finally  got up the nerve to throw on the shirt and head out.

Now, if only he could put the stupid thing on. He shouldn’t be this nervous, really. It’s just a shirt, and the hard part hasn’t even come yet. Maybe it's a good thing Celty didn't let him buy anything else.

 _‘I’ll look stupid.’_ He thinks, frowning hard. _‘They’re going to see a monster playing dress up and laugh.’_ That thought makes him growl, and he finally finds it in him to tug it over his head and tug it into shape properly.

“Fine!” He snaps, grabbing his keys and putting his shoes on at the door. “Let them laugh, I’ll bash their stupid faces in and then laugh at THEM!” He slams his door shut, startling his neighbor. The man jumps, looking more alarmed than usual as his eyes flick up and down Shizuo’s form like he doesn’t recognize him.

“It’s just a shirt!” He yells, startling the man further. “Get the fuck over it!”

“Y-yes sir!” He bows, and nearly brains himself trying to get into his apartment. Shizuo just huffs and storms past him, fists clenched and taking deep breaths. Thankfully, it’s different on the streets. No one pays any attention to him, and Shizuo is starting to think Celty was right when apparently no one even recognizes him. Usually people would be moving out of his way and staring blatantly, but now only girls seem to take notice of him. He sighs and looks ahead, spine straightening when he sees a familiar jacket swish with the crowd.

“III-ZAAA-YAAAA-KUUUUN!” He yells, rage filling him just like that. He reaches out, hand tightening on a nearby street sign and he tugs on it hard.

It’s a bit of a shock when he falls flat on his ass, and the sign stays rooted in the ground. Several feet in front of him people are scattering, away from Izaya and the general area at the cry of a monster. He lets go of the sign to stare at his enemy and waits for the laughter. Surely that will make him angry enough to bash that fleas head in. Izaya is glancing around, and gives him a weird look when he sees him but...he ignores him?

“Oi!” He snaps, drawing Izaya’s gaze again.

“Oh, my.” Izaya smiles at him, stepping forward. He holds his hand out, smiling down at Shizuo in a surprisingly non mocking way. “You really should get up and run, a monster is coming.”

“Fuck you!” Shizuo snarls, jumping to his feet and grabbing Izaya by the collar and raising his fist. Around them, people are still rushing about. Pain stabs through his side, presumably Izaya’s knife.

"I wouldn't do that, you know?" Izaya purrs, knife still pressed to Shizuo's side where he's made a thin cut. It's small enough and discreet enough not to draw too much attention from anyone in the crowd. They both gasp when someone bumps Izaya, shoving the knife in deep.

Blood spills out, gushing around the knife and already Shizuo feels dizzy. It drips down, obvious he's actually injured now and he can't make sense of why it hurts so much more than it usually does. A scream pierces the air, and he lets go of Izaya to collapse to the ground. He crouches down next to him, pulling out his phone and giving Shizuo an irritated look.

“Great.” He sighs, shaking his head. “Just what I need.”

“Wha-?”

“Hey, Shinra?” Izaya speaks, glancing down at Shizuo's wound from time to time. “Yeah, I need you to send Celty. To Thirty-fourth vine, near that shoe store.” He says, pausing when Shinra says something. Shizuo lays there, stunned that Izaya is actually helping him. _‘What the fuck?! Seriously, what the fuck!?’_ Spots are swimming in his vision, and he groans when the pain doesn’t fade as it usually does.

“I might have accidentally stabbed someone.” He scowls at whatever Shinra says, and Shizuo can hear the doctor yelling something from his position on the ground. “Just send her.” Izaya says, rolling his eyes and closing his phone. He looks surprised when he glances down again at Shizuo.

“Still conscious? Ne, you’re a strong one aren’t you?” He laughs, and Shizuo scowls.

 _“The fuck-?"_ He hisses, but he’s too dizzy to say much else. Still, he glares as hard as he can.

“Look, I didn’t mean to stab you that deep." Izaya says, bringing a hand up to push Shizuo’s hair from his sweaty forehead. He looks pleased, like this is fun for him. “But to be fair, you did attack me first.” He opens his mouth to reply, something scathing and mean, but Celty has already arrived.

When her helmet turns down to look at him, her shoulders jerk in alarm and shadows puff up angrily. His body reacts the same, stiffening in his little private pool of blood in reaction to hers when human instinct takes over. Of course Izaya would barely blink, oblivious or at least ignoring their shared panic.

“Celty-chan, we should move.” He says, smiling cheekily at her. “This man is losing a lot of blood.” It takes her a moment to move, and Shizuo has given up on talking when his vision is 70% black sparks at this point. He feels as he's moved, shadows wrapping around his waist to stop the blood as best they can and others molding together and stretching to create a flexible shadow bed of sorts. It slides underneath him with her help, and Shooter changes shape to take on a small car.

He lies in the back, shadows snug around him and Izaya and Celty in front. He doesn’t remember closing his eyes, but some time passes and when they blink back open he’s laying on someone’s couch, red eyes peering at him much too close to be comfortable.

“Gah!” He gasps, jerking back as much as he can. Thankfully it isn’t much, with the couch cushion right behind him, but it still hurts like a bitch. Izaya laughs right in his face.

“Careful, careful~” He coos, tapping Shizuo’s nose like you might a child or a dog. “You’ll pull your stitches.”

[Are you feeling okay?] A phone is pushed in his face, and Izaya stands up and moves back to give Celty room to talk to him.

“‘M okay…” He mumbles, glaring at Izaya when she moves to type something to the other man. Shinra doesn’t appear to be in the room.

“As you wish~” He hears Izaya purr, leaving the room. He doesn’t leave the apartment, though, and Celty is on him before he con ponder this.

[SHIZUO?!] She types, hands shaking and shadows puffing like cartoon smoke.

“Yes?!” He answers, leaning away from her as best he can.

[Why do you have two skins?] She demands, pushing the phone closer to his face. He blinks slowly at the message, brows furrowing.

“Excuse me?” He asks, trying to make sense of the words. “If that’s an insult, I don’t get it.”

[You look like a tv with two different channels playing at the same time.]

“Ooh, burn.”

[I’m serious! I can see you, but there’s someone else….over you, and you’re moving together. It’s really confusing.]

“...I don’t understand.” He says, and her shoulders slump. Then she perks back up, shadows puffing around far calmer than they had been before.

[Maybe I can show you.] She turns her phone towards herself, taps a it some and pushes it back towards him. First he sees a young man, with grey blue eyes and brown hair. He doesn’t think much of it, but his brain catches on faster than he can comprehend when the man frowns in the exact same time he does. Eyes widen in alarm, mouth falls open on the screen and on his face and if he had less pride he’d scream.

“No fucking way.” He hisses, sitting up with Celty’s help and taking the phone from her. It’s on camera mode, and he’s apparently in someone else’s body. He doesn’t look a thing like himself, with a younger face and shorter hair and thicker eyebrows and no fucking way!

The gypsy’s face flashes in his mind, and his throat tickles like something is crawling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To TheMadCatQueen, I...am sorry. Personally I don't think this was that but BUT as a huge Izaya fan if he got stabbed just to move the plot along I'd be furious but I promise this is the last of the suffering SHizuo will have to go though. Physically. And emotionally it won't be bad, pinky swear~ <3
> 
> To the rest of you, FUCK YEAAAHHH TWO CHAPTER ALREADY WHOOOOO YEAH TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE IT MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL WHEN I GET LIKES AND COMMENTS


	3. He Bent Down And Turned Around And Pulled Out His Cock, He Said He'd Suck Me Off In The Clinic Of The Doc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WAS...I AM....sorry. Not, though, I'm not. Smut. We have smut ahead, be warned. 
> 
> HAPPY HALLOWEEN BITCHES!!

“What the fuck!?” He gasps, staring back at a stranger. The face looks younger, face blown wide with shock to mirror the way he feels his-this faces muscles pulling.

[Why are you so surprised?!] Celty asks, and his head whips up to stare at her incredulously.

“Maybe becaUSE I HAVE A DIFFERENT BODY!?” He yells, and she quickly holds a finger up to her helmet where a human's mouth would be, silently asking him to be quiet. He takes in a deep breath, shaky and air stuttering down his throat like something is partially blocking it.

[Didn’t you notice you looked different? I think you’re shorter, too.]

“I-I don’t...look in the mirror much.” He admits, sighing. It’s not that he just doesn’t look, he outright avoids it. If he looks he always gets caught up in a shit storm of self-deprecation and he hates it.

“Is everything okay in here?” Shinra asks, finally emerging from the somewhere down the hall. Izaya follows, smiling coyly at him. It makes his stomach twist with unease.

[Don’t say anything.] Celty types at him, discreetly. She then “says” something to Shinra and he smiles, glancing at Shizuo.

“How do you feel?” He asks, grin turning sharper. “You must feel great, having an angel at your bedside.” He sighs, dreamily glancing at  Celty, and she jabs him in the ribs, shadows puffing up. Izaya laughs, in a way that would suggest he was embarrassed if he weren’t so obviously not.

“I’d hardly call myself an angel~” He purrs, winking at Shizuo. “I can be very naughty, after all.”

 _‘What….what the hell is this?’_ He thinks, staring hard at the informant. _‘Is Izaya flirting with me?!’_

“Izaya Orihara, please to meet you.” Izaya says, bowing his head briefly. Shizuo nods back, a knee jerk reaction, and bites his lip to keep from saying anything mean. ‘He doesn’t know it’s me, this could be good for me…’

“Can you stand?” Shinra says, and he nods. “Luckily the blade didn’t go too deep, and Orihara-kun keeps his knives very sharp.” He stands up, head spinning a little and shoulders hunching with the weird way his skin pulls with the stitches. It hurts, but he’s likely had some pain meds and he feels better about the whole thing now that he isn’t bleeding out on the ground.

“Great!” Shinra chirps. “Follow me to the back room, I’ll tell you how to take care of it. Celty darling, would you be so kind and wait for me here? I need to go to the store and I’d be so sad if I had to be separated any longer than I need to!”

[Idiot!] Celty snaps, but sits and waits on the couch for him anyway. It makes Shizuo smile.

He follows Shinra, frowning when he sees Izaya is tagging along. The other man is smiling, glancing at him with sly eyes that make his stomach turn. He knows that look. _‘The flea is up to something…’_

They reach Shinra’s little mini clinic, the pseudo doctor heading to a cabinet and fishing out a bottle of prescription pills. Izaya watches on, smiling wider every second.

“Here, take these when you feel you need them but remember not to push it. If you get hooked don’t come to me, I won’t be your dealer.” Shinra says, smiling at him. He heads for the door, waving good bye. Shizuo goes to follow him out, a little annoyed at being called back here for such a brief interaction, but Izaya’s in his way before he can even take a step forward. Shinra shuts the door behind him, and Izaya pushes him towards the medical examination slab.

“Now, now, no need to rush.” He purrs, practically shoving Shizuo down on the table. Shizuo glares, fingers itching to grab Izaya’s neck but he opts for grabbing the table instead. He’s a little shocked when the metal doesn’t bend or warp the slightest under his fingers.

 _’That gypsy…’_ He thinks, seething a little. “What the fuck do you want?” He hisses, glaring at Izaya. He wonders if his voice sounds different to everyone else, when it sounds the same as it always has to him.

“No need to be so angry.” Izaya tilts his head, red eyes observing Shizuo’s seated form on the table with a hungry look. “Here’s how we’re gonna do this,” Izaya starts, moving in close. He invades Shizuo’s personal space, hands moving to brace themselves on either side of his hips and leaning his head to whisper in Shizuo’s ear. Black hair tickles his cheek, and Shizuo hopes this isn’t what he thinks it is.

“I’ve caused you a lot of trouble today…” Izaya whispers, voice low and sultry in his ear. “So I should probably make it up to you, right?” He asks, and Shizuo nods slowly. He wants to hear more, if he’s honest, and there’s no need to get angry when Izaya doesn’t even know it’s him…

“Good.” A hand slides up his thigh, dangerously close to his groin and it has his heart speeding up right away. “I don’t want to know your name. I’m not going to kiss you. I told you my name so you could moan it, but if you speak of this outside of this room you’ll pay, okay?” That hand slides to his crotch, and Shizuo finds himself nodding again. That’s all Izaya needs, dropping to his knees and smirking up at him.

“Oh, and no touching,” he adds. Amazing. Izaya’s the one on his knees and ready to please Shizuo, but he’s still the one in control. It makes him dizzy, and that much harder in his jeans.

He undoes the button with one hand, then leans his head forward to lick a wet line from the base to top of the bulge. His teeth latch onto the zipper, slowly pulling it down. He’s not wearing underwear, so his cock flops out and nearly slaps Izaya in face. He sorta wishes it would, it’s kinda hot to think about stabbing him with his dick.

“Oh, my.” He looks surprised, but pleasantly so upon seeing Shizuo’s new dick. He glances at it himself, curious. “It’s so big~” Izaya coos, a hand moving from his thigh where Izaya licks up the bulge in his pants and and starts to stroke him nice and slow. Funnily enough, Shizuo’s actually bigger than this body. He wonders what Izaya’s reaction would be to his real dick.

He doesn’t wonder long when a sinful tongue starts to tease him. This dick has it’s foreskin, so Izaya dips his tongue into that and Shizuo’s whole body jolts. He’s heard men are more sensitive if they still have their foreskin but for fucks sake, not this sensitive!

 _“Shit,”_ he groans, watching as Izaya wraps his lips around the head and starts sucking very lightly. He’s so hard, dick twitching in Izaya’s mouth already, and he moans again when he sees Izaya’s other hand, the one not holding his dick, stroking himself under the table.

He’s already close, hips jolting forward whenever Izaya tongues just the right spot. He reaches out, hand barely brushing raven locks when Izaya pulls away and sits back on his heels, grinning at him.

“No touching, remember?” Izaya purrs, grin evil and eyes dark with lust.

“Or what?” Shizuo challenges, panting. His cock is rock hard, jumping when Izaya’s eyes trail over it.

“Or I’ll stop, and let you get off alone.” He flashes his teeth in a cocky grin, lips wet and hand still stroking his dick to Shizuo’s frustration. _‘Little fucking sadist!’_

“Fine,” he hisses, drawing his shaking hands back to the table. Izaya shuffles close again, smirking at his dick.

“Miss me?” He asks, holding it up so he can lick up along the length and tongue the head again. He peels Shizuo’s foreskin back, swirling his tongue around the bare head and Shizuo cries out at the feeling. It burns, in the best way possible. Every swirl of Izaya’s tongue is making him jolt and shudder and he hardly realizes he’s thrown his head back because _‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!’_

It’s even better when Izaya slides down, taking the whole length down his throat and sucking just right. He cries out again, orgasm building and his hands fly up to grab at Izaya’s hair or shoulders or anything he can. Unfortunately, the informant pulls off of him before he can, leaving his orgasm to fade.

“No. Touching.” Izaya snaps, though he isn’t angry. He looks just as turned on as Shizuo, stroking himself fast and smirking up at him.

“You asshole!” He gasps, chest heaving because he was about to fucking cum!

“You know the rules~” Izaya puurs, gesturing at his hands. He pulls them back as expected, gritting his teeth angrily. Izaya smiles and fucking finally leans back in. This time though, he doesn’t latch onto Shizuo dick. Instead he closes his mouth around Shizuo’s balls.

“Oh, _oh_ fuck!” He’s sucking them just right and this time Shizuo’s able to get a hand in Izaya’s hair before he can even think of fighting the impulse. The informant groans, releasing his balls and glaring until Shizuo let’s go.

“Okay, clearly you can’t follow even the simplest of rules.” He huffs, and Shizuo panics.

“Don’t go!” He gasps, hard and desperate. “I swear if you fucking stop now-”

“Calm down.” Izaya says, pushing Shizuo back on the table, He climbs onto it, too, though he flips himself around so he can suck Shizuo’s cock.

The only problem is, this leaves Izaya’s dick in his face. He flushes, licking his lips with the strangest urge to suck it. Izaya has already started working his cock again, one hand holding it and he’s slowly going down on it. It’s making Shizuo buck, but with this position he can’t really move his hips with Izaya’s weight pressing them down. He feels helpless and, oh, he’s going to cum so fucking hard.

He licks his lips again, and his tongue brushes the tip of Izaya’s cock when Izaya’s hips have lowered closer to his face. He gulps, letting his mouth fall open and tongue move it lick it again, properly. Izaya moans around his dick, knees spreading by his shoulders. This allows Shizuo to take his cock deeper, Izaya doing the same as a reward of sorts.

It tastes slightly salty, thick and heavy in his mouth and he worries he’ll get addicted to this. Izaya’s tongue is sliding along the length of his dick as best it can inside his mouth, and Shizuo does his best to copy him.

“Aah, that’s good.” Izaya moans, thrusting down lightly to slide deeper into his mouth. Shizuo is surprised he doesn’t choke. “Just like that.” Izaya groans, stroking Shizuo’s length with his hand and wrapping his lips around the head again. He starts sucking, and Shizuo is cumming hard into his mouth.

Izaya purrs around his cock, sucking still while he rides out his orgasm and spills weeks of pent up frustration into his mouth. Shizuo is trembling, relief flowing through him and relaxing all his muscles. He hasn’t felt so good and boneless from an orgasm in years, but then again, he hasn’t been touched by someone else in years either.

And apparently they aren’t quiet done, when Izaya kindly reminds him he’s still hard by shoving himself down Shizuo’s throat. This time he does choke, cheeks flushing in both excitement and irritation. _‘Motherfucker.’_

He flips them over so Izaya’s back is on the table and his body is facing the other direction.He goes down on him like that, grabbing and massaging Izaya’s balls as he slides his mouth down down down his length. It doesn’t take long, the informant is already close, and Shizuo pulls his mouth off when he senses he’s close. He finishes Izaya off with his hand, watching the cum spill over as Izaya moans and arches above him.

“Mmm~” Izaya moans, lifting his head to smirk at him. Shizuo reaches for a tissue, wiping off his hand with a grimace.

Which was apparently pointless, when Izaya sits up and grabs him by the hair, kissing him open mouthed and letting Shizuo’s own seed slide hot into his mouth. His eyes grow wide, groaning when he has no choice but to swallow it down. _‘Fucking asshole!’_ He thinks, seething when Izaya finally pulls back to laugh at him.

“Sorry,” he laughs, obviously not sorry at all. “I couldn’t resist. Here’s my number, call me sometime.” He slips a piece of paper into Shizuo’s hand, apparently having found time to jot down his number between sucking a stranger off and shoving his dick down said stranger's throat, and tucks himself back into his pants. He’s out the door before Shizuo can even try to hit him.

Shizuo is left alone in Shinra’s medical clinic, cock spent and still so frustrated he could scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah~ 
> 
> Y e A h~~~!
> 
> YYYYEEAAAHHHHH~~~~~~~~~!!!


	4. I Didn't Know If It Was Day Or Night, I Was Scared out Of My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I keep making it longer but I keep thinking of ideas...But that's a good thing, it means more story!
> 
> Anyway, sorry this chapter is a little short but I haven't been able to write lately. Maybe I have too many stories to work on or maybe I'm just a piECE OF SHIT, but whatever.

Stumbling out of Shinra’s place, barely remembering to lock the door behind him, Shizuo is most definitely not shaking.   _‘That wasn’t real.’_ He thinks, leaning against the apartment building. _’There’s no way that just happened.’_  He’s still slightly out of breath, can still taste Izaya’s…

“Damn it!” He yells, slamming his fist into the wall. It’s the one still clutching Izaya’s phone number, and he hisses a second later when the pain becomes apparent. His knuckles are bleeding, but when he pulls his hand back to his chest he can still move his fingers. He can hardly think straight, torn between going and killing the informant and pondering how easily he went with the whole thing.

Sure, Izaya didn't know it was him and blowing his cover would have been a lot of trouble, but still! Why didn't he just punch him? 

_'I_ _have to go see that gypsy.’_ He decides, shaking his head and heading for Thirty-fourth and Vine, the street her mysterious shop is on. _‘She has to fix this, before that little flea comes around again.’_ It must be the body change messing with his head, that's all.

* * *

“Welcome back!” She chirps, when Shizuo strides in. He’d been surprised the shop was still there, but didn’t stop to question it. His stride stutters, coming to a halt with the implication in the old hags words.

“You recognize me?” He asks, and she cackles. _‘Stupid witch.’_

_“Gypsy!”_   She stalks forward, grabs his shirt and smacks the back of his head. It's a surprisingly strong smack, for such an old woman. She turns away haughtily to fiddle with a bottle on the counter, scowling already. It looks to Shizuo like she's making a new potion, and he shutters at the thought of what it does.

“Sorry!” He gasps, and she gives him a look.

“My, my…we’ve been busy, haven’t we?” She drawls, wrinkling her nose. “What’s that scent you’re wearing? _Sperme Esquimau_?”

“Huh?”

“That’s french for Eskimo Fuck, dear.”

_‘Gross.’_ He thinks, scowling at her.

“I agree.” She says, pulling him down to smack him again. “I did not give you that body so you’d get laid! Bad client!”

“So you _did_ do this!” He gasps, and she shakes her head at him again.

“ _No_ , no of course not. It must have been the other gypsy who made you drink a mysterious potion.” She snaps, and starts unbuttoning his shirt with deft fingers.

“What-what are you doing!?” Shizuo gasps, yanking himself away and holding his shirt closed with his hands. He feels a little silly, but he's not going to let her feel him up.

“I need to see if the tattoo has appeared.” Clear in her tone, her patience is starting to be tested. 

“Tattoo?” He inquires, straightening up some. 

“Shut up and let me see!” She hisses, fury in old eyes and he hastily lets go of his shirt to allow her to check. He’s not above admitting that she scares him. “And young man, I also didn’t give you this beautiful brown skin only to have you hide it!”

“Why did you, then?” He demands, because it doesn’t make sense. Is she tormenting him? Why give him a new body, but no explanation as to why?

“Hmm…” She hums, pulling his shirt open and pleased at whatever she finds. “I’ve always liked Egyptian men, plus it went with the beetle and the tattoo so-”

“No!” He snaps. “I mean, why...wait, Egyptian? I thought this was a really weirdly tan western body. I mean, blue eyes…”

“Nope, this is a 100% manly Egyptian body I’ve given you.”

“Why blue eyes? They have brown,  right?”

“Well, your friend has red eyes, and Japanese have brown too, right?”

“...Touche. And he’s not my friend.”

“Your lover.” She corrects, smugly. Shizuo huffs, though he can’t exactly deny it.

“It was a one time thing.”

“Listen, you want to get back to your original body, right?” She asks, and he nods hastily.

"Of course.”

“Okay then. This,” she points at his chest with a bony finger and he glances down to his bare chest. Over where his heart is, a beetle tattoo resides. It’s exactly the same as the beetle he’d been forced to drink live, too. “Is a Scarab Beetle, worshiped by the Egyptians.” She snaps her fingers and the lights dim. He glances to the windows, but it’s become foggy outside and he can’t see the other side of the street anymore. Around them, in place of fluorescent light, the bottles begin to glow and illuminate the room in a flurry of color.

“Khepera, the God of the rising sun and a version of Re (ra), is connected to the Scarab beetle. His name means creation,development, etc.”

“So what?” Shizuo demands, finding it hard to breathe when the colors beging to leave the potions as if the liquid itself has floated from the bottles. They start to swirl around he and the Gypsy, and her eyes begin to glow green. The beetle tattoo glows, and with alarm he sees its legs move as if it were sitting on his chest, instead of fused with his skin.

_“Khepera has given you a chance!”_ She bellows, voice booming with power and magic. He backs away as best he can, but the lights swirling have made a ring around them and he can’t escape. _“As he pushes the sun across the sky, you must move along your own fate.”_

“And what’s my fate!?” He demands, and the everything stops moving abruptly.

“The answer lies with red eyes.” She declares, and the lights part in front of the door. “Leave this place, now!”

He does, rushing for the door and buttoning up his shirt as he goes. The door slams behind him, and when he glances back he can’t make out anything through the fog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did that escalate too quickly? 
> 
> If you're interested, do some research of your own on Khepera. I find that shit really interesting. 
> 
> And if anyone is curious what Shizuo looks like in the fake body, he's got dark brown hair with thick dark eyebrows, blue eyes, and medium brown skin.


	5. I Held His Hand Down On Thirty-Fourth And Vine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't go over this very thoroughly.... sorry

_‘Shit, shit, shit!’_ Shizuo thinks, clutching his phone tightly. He’d gotten it a week ago, along with a new number, so Izaya wouldn’t know it was his yet. It’s kind of nice that it doesn’t shatter into a million pieces, though he’s sure he could at least crack the screen if he really tried. He kind of wants to try.

“Orihara Izaya speaking!” Izaya chirps on the other end, and Shizuo glares at his wall.

“Hey.”

“Hello. May I ask who’s calling?”

“Oh, it’s uh…” Oh shit. “The guy...from yesterday.”

“I see a lot of people everyday, I’m going to need more information than that.” Izaya replies back cheerily, and Shizuo scowls.

“You cornered me in Kishitanis clinic and we-we did... _stuff_.”

“Oh, yes. I remember now! You know, I never did get your name.” Izaya says, slyly. His tone is dripping with suggestion and Shizuo refrains from gritting his teeth when he speaks.

“When are you free?” He asks, unable to make his voice flirty or suggestive like Izaya’s. Honestly he has no desire to see that little pest again, even if he did have amazing oral skills, be it talking, manipulation, or apparently fellating.

“My, so eager!” Izaya laughs, and Shizuo scowls.”Did I not satisfy you the last time?”

“No!” He gasps, then quickly corrects himself when he realizes what he’s basically said. “I mean- Yes, well that is… I don’t want to meet up for sex, okay!?”

“Then I assume you need some information?” His tone slides into professional so easily Shizuo gets whiplash and he shakes his head in frustration.

“No! Just tell me when you’re free so we can meet.” He snaps, and Izaya’s end goes quiet.He stares up at his ceiling, at the yellow ring forming there from the times he’s too lazy to go outside and smoke. He should really stop doing that...

“Hello?” Shizuo asks, impatient.

“You’ll have to tell me your name first.” Izaya eventually replies, and Shizuo thinks quick. _‘Egyptian name, what’s an Egyptian name?! Damn that old hag!’_

“Bob.” He says, biting his lip. _‘You idiot, that’s not Egyptian!’_

“...really? I thought you might have a middle eastern name. Or a Japanese one, your Japanese is flawless. I assumed you were born here. Of course, that's what makes people so interesting. You never know what to expect-”

“A-ahaha! Yes," He cuts him off with a too fake laugh and a roll of his eyes. No time for one of Izaya's stupid rants. "Yes, you’re right. It would be normal if I had a Japanese name, huh? My name isn’t Bob, it was just a joke." 

"Is that so...?"

"Yeah... I’m Naoki. Naoki...Hanejima.” It worked for his brother, he could use it too.

“Ohh, like the actor!” Izaya coos. “Any relation?” He jokes, and Shizuo finds himself laughing.

“We’re basically twins.” He says, chuckling with Izaya. “So, um...do you wanna meet up sometime?” He asks again, probably for the third time because of course he’d be difficult, and Izaya hums warmly.

“How about tomorrow night?” Tomorrow was halloween though, and Shizuo had to attend Celty’s party, even though he wasn’t in his own body at the moment. She’d texted him earlier that body swaps were no excuse to skip.

“Oh, uh, I have to go to a party… Actually, why don’t you come with me? It’s a halloween party but I don’t think you have to dress up.”

“Alright.” Izaya agrees easily, for once, and Shizuo finds himself smiling. He has a date and an opportunity to find out what Izaya has to do with his magical body transformation. It’s a shitty situation, but having a place to start working things out makes him feel a lot better.

“Great. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up, around 6.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow, Naoki-kun!” Izaya says, and Shizuo has a rather sudden and painfully vivid image of Izaya getting ready like a teen girl in an anime. It’s silly, of course, but Shizuo can’t deny that Izaya sounded excited.

He goes to bed feeling guilty, beetle tattoo burning. 

 

“Don’t you have another shirt, Naoki-kun?” Izaya asks, when he opens the door. It 5:53 pm, and the sky is fading to a brilliant twilight.

“Like you don’t always wear the same thing.” He scoffs, and Izaya’s eyes widen.

“How would you know what I usually wear?” He asks slowly, on guard as soon as the words leave his mouth. He bites the inside of his cheek, scolding himself mentally. _‘Stupid!’_

“Well you were wearing that when we last met… And I, uh, well you’re pretty famous in Ikebukuro and I see pictures of you sometimes.”

“Where?” Izaya demands, smiling in a very dark way.

“Uh, the uh, The dollars gang! You’ve heard of us, I’m sure. I’m a member and you and...the monster of Ikebukuro are pretty popular there…”

“I see.” He accepts that, apparently, and lets Shizuo lead the way. It’s a quiet walk to the station, and a silent ride to Ikebukuro. More than not Izaya’s typing something on his phone when Shizuo glances at him, and he wonders if he should be making conversation.

 _‘Nah.’_ He decides, after a moment. _‘I don’t want to talk to him anyway.’_ Though it would be the perfect time.

As they start to get closer to Shinra’s place, Izaya starts to look almost nervous. After awhile he stops, pulling Shizuo off to the side where they aren’t in anybodys way.

“Where are we going?” He asks, face apathetic. The cheerful, flirty Izaya from is gone and in his place he stands showing as little emotion as possible. Shizuo is, again, struck by how quickly he can change his tune.

“To Celty’s party.” He answers, a little put off by the delay. “She invited me.” It’s not a lie, of course, but he almost feels like it is.

“I see.” Izaya takes a step away from him, smiling apologetically. “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline for tonight.”

“Why?” He frowns, irritation welling up inside him again.

“I wasn’t invited.” He says, shoving his hands in his pockets with a shrug.

“It’s a plus one. You’re my...well, you’re my plus one.” Shizuo says. _‘ Not my date.’ _Izaya smiles like he’s a kid who’s said something silly.

“I happen to know a lot of the people who’ll be attending. I’m not welcome.” He insists, and Shizuo frowns harder. He doesn’t understand why Izaya would hold himself back, when he seems like the type to happily crash any party he desires.

“It’ll be fine.” Shizuo sighs, reaching for Izaya’s wrist to tug him there himself. Of course he never makes contact, Izaya moving faster than he can follow, and by the time his eyes find him again, he’s a few feet behind him.

“Seriously, what’s the problem?” He snaps, irritated. Izaya isn’t looking at him, though. He’s staring off to the side like he’s bored, waiting for Shizuo to shut up so he can go home, most likely.

“Look… I doubt anyone would, like, try to attack you or anything. If that’s what you’re worried about.” He tries, gentler this time, and Izaya finally looks at him. He’s smirking, cold and darkly amused.

“That’s not it.” He says, brushing past Shizuo and heading back towards the stations. “Sorry for ruining the date, but I’m not going to the party.”

“Wait,” His hand latches onto Izaya’s wrist as he goes by, stopping the informant and calling his attention back.

 _‘He thinks it’s a date…’_ Shizuo thinks, frowning at the ground because he just can’t look at Izaya.

 _‘Well, what else was he supposed to think?’_ He sighs, biting his lip. Truthfully Izaya had sounded happy on the phone when he’d agreed to meet up with Naoki. Knowing that Izaya was gay, or bi or whatever, wasn’t at all surprising.

Well, it had been when he’d got on his knees to suck him off, but that had just been because Izaya had done that to _him_. Though he doesn’t know who _he_ is…

“Naoki-kun?” He looks up, into Izaya’s red eyes, and makes up his mind.

“Are you hungry?” Shizuo hears himself ask, tightening his grip on Izaya’s hand.

“Huh? Oh, a little, I suppose...” He answers, clearly caught off guard and trying not to show it. Classic flea.

“Great.” He smiles. _‘This will work too.’_

Sliding his hand to intertwine with Izaya’s, he tugs him in a new direction. He supposes they can just skip the party, he never wanted to go anyway.


	6. I Held My Breath, I Closed My Eyes, We Shared A Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my updates have been lagging. I was in a rough spot for awhile, and I also got a drawing pad so I've been using that a lot when I would normally write. But I'm back now!

“Where are we going?” Izaya asks, though Shizuo doesn’t reply. He tugs him along by the hand, through the crowds and to the quieter parts of the city. People bustle past, some giving them looks, good and bad, and others ignore them entirely.

He drags Izaya to a little ramen shop he frequents, holding him by the hand the entire time. Izaya doesn’t comment on this, or even react, but Shizuo swears his cheeks are a shade darker than they had been before when they finally reach their destination. He finds himself liking that, and quickly herds him inside before he does something stupid. Again.

“Welcome.” The man behind the counter greeted them gruffly. He ran the shop, and Shizuo was pretty fond of him. It felt weird when he didn’t greet him like he usually did.

“Um, two orders of the special.” He says, feeling awkward. “Please.” He add politely. The man nods, heading back to make their food while they take a seat.

“So,” Shizuo starts, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He’s not sure what to say so he let’s that hang in the air, nervous. It’s Halloween, he could be at a party with his friends, and yet he’s here on a date with Izaya. He supposes it’s fitting, a few days ago the thought would have terrified him and Halloween IS supposed to be scary.

“You don’t to feed me.” Izaya remarks coldly, and Shizuo slides his eyes over. He’s not looking at him. “I’ll sleep with you, so if you want to just head to a hotel-”

“No!” Shizuo interrupts, face hot with embarrassment. “That’s not what this is.” He mumbles, wishing they had their food so he could stuff his face when he didn’t want to talk.

“...I see.” Izaya stands up abruptly, giving him a wry smile. “I’m afraid I’m not looking for a relationship, so...bye.” He heads for the door, and Shizuo bites his lip to reign in his frustration.

“Wait!” He gasps, catching Izaya’s wrist. “Please, stay?”

“Why?” He’s guarded, and Shizuo curses mentally. He needs to figure out what Izaya has to do with his transformation, and this might be his only chance at figuring it out.

“I-I, uh…” He fumbles, trying desperately to think of what would interest Izaya enough to make him stay.

“Well?” He tries harder to think, considering the few things he knows about Izaya. _‘Let’s see...He loves humans, he’s...insane, he likes to manipulate people, he’s an ass, a narcissist, a pest-oh!’_

“I’m in love with you!” He blurts, watching the way Izaya stiffens in surprise. “I-I hear about you and that monster Heiwajima and you’re so… err, resilient. Yeah! And cool, and uh, when I finally met you I knew you were the one!” He does his best to smile past the was his stomach is churning with disgust.

“You’re a bad actor.” Izaya informs him, and Shizuo’s shoulders slump. He tries in vain to remember how Kasuka does it, something about believing a lie? He’s not sure he can convince himself, even for a moment, that he loves Izaya.

But...He’s not himself now, is he?

“It’s the truth.” He lets sincerity simmer in his eyes, thinking of himself as Naoki instead of Shizuo. The rest is fairly easy. “When our eyes first met, your beautiful ruby red and my brown, I felt a connection to you.“

Shizuo slides his fingers from Izaya’s wrist to his palm and locks their hands together. He looks up at the informant, smiling in a way he knows looks good on this handsome face. He’s lucky the gypsy gave him such an attractive body, at least.

“I think you’re my soulmate…” He whispers, bringing Izaya’s hand to his lips so he can place a delicate kiss across his knuckles.

He doesn’t expect to be slapped across the face with that same hand.

“Disgusting!” Izaya snaps, backing away quickly. Shizuo finds himself getting mad, anger burning in his chest until he sees the look Izaya is wearing. Izaya is blushing, if you can believe it. He looks pissed, cheeks pink and eyes burning bright with a mix of emotions.

“What was disgusting?” He demands, standing up himself. Izaya takes a few more steps back, glaring at him. “You shoved your dick down my throat, but kissing your hand is disgusting to you?”

“Yes!” Izaya hisses, furiously. Shizuo can’t figure out why he’s so angry, though he thinks he’s starting to piece it together.

“Why?!” He growls, stepping forward without thinking. Izaya backs up further, closer to the door. “You’re the one who called it a date earlier!”

“Because! That’s so-so gross, so sappy. It’s embarrassing.” He huffs, crossing his arms and eying him like Shizuo is going to pounce any second. “And I meant for sex and stuff. Stupid.”

 _‘Oh. Oohh! Ha, he’s shy! Izaya Orihara is shy!’_ Shizuo feels elated, finally having something he can tease Izaya with.

“But I love you so much!” Shizuo exclaims, chuckling at the way Izaya’s face scrunches up. “All I want is to hold you in my arms-”

“Stop it!” Izaya snaps, scandalized. “You’re disgusting!” He hisses, making Shizuo laugh harder.

“But babe,” He laughs, stepping forward with his arms spread out like he’s inviting Izaya in for a hug. “You know you’re my one and only! Our love is like dew on a fresh spring morning, beautiful and brig-”

“I’m leaving.” Izaya huffs, heading out the door with a rush. Shizuo laughs, following behind him down the mostly empty sidewalks. He barely notices the shop keeper holding their food and glaring as they leave.

“Aww c’mon. I’m sorry, It’s just, I can’t believe you of all people would be so _shy_.” Izaya stops walking, looking at him suspiciously.

“You don’t know me…” He says slowly, suspicious again. Shizuo pauses, grin fading away as he hurries to cover his mistake.

“Well, well I hear about you and that, uh, bartender guy and you seem so cool, so…” He trails off as Izaya moves directly into his space, eyes narrowed and smile sharper than his knives.

“Why are you so interested in me, hmm?” He purrs, dangerously. “What are you after, information? Revenge? Or... something else?” This close, Shizuo's thinking about the things they did in Shinra's office. It's hard to think with the way his pants are suddenly getting tighter. _'Shit.'_

“Uh, that’s...um...” He's starting to wonder if Izaya is doing this on purpose, with the way he's smiling at him. It's inviting, and his complete mood swing is making Shizuo dizzy.

“I’ll know if you’re lying.” Izaya informs him, and Shizuo knows it to be true. He thinks quickly, trying to figure out what to do. He can’t just say ‘Well, I was cursed by a crazy gypsy lady and you hold the key to fixing my situation, so I need to stalk you, if that’s okay.”

"I-I don't really want anything...He thinks he should say something poetic and romantic, to throw Izaya back off his trail. Not that Izaya COULD figure it out, considering there’s no way to prove who he is. Still, he needs a witty and charming comment, and possibly a romantic gesture... But so far, he doesn't know what to say.

"I think you do want something..." He coos, and fuck, It was easier when Izaya was the one being teased.

“Fuck you.” He snaps, pulling Izaya in for a kiss. Izaya jerks in surprise, then laughs and mumbles something like _“Please do.”_ against his lips. He honestly has no idea what he's doing at this point, but if Izaya can do stuff to him in Shinra's clinic, then he supposes he can kiss him on the street.

Fuckin’ gay Eskimo.


	7. He Broke The Spell Of... Love Potion #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY RIGHT????
> 
>  
> 
> Proof, that I can actually complete stories.

They stumble back to Shizuo’s apartment, too invested in each other to take notice of much else. They’re lucky not many people are out on the street this late at night, but for the few there, the cool bite of early autumn air gives them an excuse to huddle close. Izaya is warm against him, grinning mischievously most of the way. The closer they get, though, he’ll catch something close to a frown on Izaya’s face but dismisses it to worry about himself.

He has no idea what he’s doing. He wants this, if the tent in his pants is any indication, but...with Izaya? To be fair, again, he’s not in his real body and Izaya has no way of knowing it’s him. And this is good, right? The gypsy had said Izaya was the key to figuring out how to change back. Plus, his pants are getting uncomfortably tight, and the way Izaya has started groping him when he’s not looking isn’t helping.

They reach his door, finally, and he lets them in quickly. They barely get their shoes off. Shizuo wastes no time in shoving Izaya back against the closed door and trying to kiss him senseless. When he turns his head away, however, Shizuo pauses.

“Actually,” Izaya smiles innocently, fake, although he can only tell because he’s known him so long. “My throat is awfully parched… could I have something to drink? Tea, maybe?”

“Oh... Uh, sure.” Shizuo pauses, drawing away from the devil himself. “It’ll-it’ll take a few to make, is that okay?”  He asks, drawing further back towards the kitchen. Izaya smiles and nods, moving to sit on Shizuo’s couch with red eyes trained on him. He turns around, heads to the kitchen with the eerie tingle that comes from Izaya sliding his eyes away.

He feels like he’s forgetting something, but he can’t think of what.

* * *

Izaya waits till Naoki was in the kitchen, and then waits a few seconds more to be safe, before he moves. He draws his knife out, in his left hand which happens to be as skilled as his right, and goes into Shizuo’s bedroom. He’s been here a few times, snuck in and snooped just for fun, and now Naoki is claiming to live here?

_'Lying scoundrel.'_

“Doesn’t look like you moved out, Shizu-chan…” He whispers, inspecting a torn bowtie on the floor and a cracked picture of Shizuo and his family atop the bedside table. There are no signs of struggle, which there would be of course, had Naoki attacked Shizuo. He briefly checks the bathroom; nothing to be found.

“Are you in my bedroom?” Naoki calls suddenly, and damn does he have great hearing. He heads silently back to the bedroom door, on edge but trying to relax.

“I am!” He calls back, smiling sweetly to help the effect carry to his voice. "Take your time, I have to..get ready~ Okay?” He purrs, shaking his jacket deliberately. If Naoki could hear his near silent footsteps, he’d hear that.

When no reply comes, he’s sure he’s bought some time. He walks around the bed, shucking off his jacket but laying it within reach. He glances around Shizuo’s bedroom again, uneasy, and spots a closet.

 _‘I have time.’_ He thinks, walking swiftly towards it. He opens it, hand slow as he can go and thankful when it doesn’t creak. He peers inside, frowning at the darkness. There’s a few coats off to the side, nothing special except Shizuo’s shoes in the middle of the floor...

Except shoes didn’t stand upright, did they? Unless they were on a foot. A foot attached to a leg clothed in dark pants he almost didn’t see in the dark of the space. He shoves the coats aside, biting his tongue to keep a gasp at bay.

He drops to his knees, wincing at the tiny thud that makes, and feels for a pulse. Is it possible for a heart to pound so hard and sink like the titanic at the same time? Apparently so. He feels Shizuo’s wrist, his neck, puts his palm under his nose and before his mouth praying for a puff of breath, and even lays his head against his chest to listen.

Nothing.

He drags the body-no not the body, Shizuo! He drags Shizuo forward, terrified with how stiff and cold he feels.

“Izaya-kun?” Naoki calls curiously.

“No, _no_ , c’mon…” He whispers, and can’t get his voice any higher than that. He considers chest compressions, but those wouldn’t help someone so stiff and long gone. No wonder Naoki was so adamant about meeting him, how he knew so much. For some reason he had murderous intent towards Shizuo...and possibly himself.

“Izaya-kun, what’s wrong?” Footsteps start to sounds, and he carefully pushes Shizuo back into the closet and shuts the door. No signs of struggle, no visible wounds or blood on Shizuo’s body. It had to have been poison, or possibly something else that wasn’t messy, but Occam’s razor would suggest poison.

“I-I’m okay.” He breathes, hand pressed to the door for a few moments. He swears then to avenge his...to avenge Shizuo.

He moves to the bed and gets under the covers, just in time as Naoki enters. He ducked under enough that it appears as though he's nude under the covers, waiting for his lover.

“I heard a door close…?” He says, moving towards the bed with hesitation. There’s no tea in his hands, abandoned in the kitchen. _‘Tch, it was probably poisoned.’_

“The bathroom.” Izaya purrs weakly, shifting a little and readying his knife. Naoki is looking at him, with an almost worried look. “I told you I was preparing.” He coos, but he stills looks worried.

“Are you okay?” Naoki questions, giving Izaya room to pause. He steps closer and sits on the bed, eyes trained on his like he’s talking to a frightened child.

“...what?” Izaya breathes, grip around his knife loosening as he draws in a shaky breath.

“We don’t have to do this.” He murmurs, handsome face sincere. “I’ll let you get dressed, and we can just talk.” He offers, and it almost sounds nice. Naoki sounds nice, warm and playful when he wants, if a bit strange.

“We could have that tea.” Naoki smiles at him, sweet like the poison he probably have Shizuo, and Izaya scowls hard. It’s all the warning he gets.

He lunges at Naoki, knocking the both of them off the bed, and he pins the taller man down on the floor with a knife at his throat and knees on either side of his stomach. Naoki goes perfectly still, arms pinned under Izaya’s legs and face hardened. He grabs for his hair with his free hand, yanking Naoki’s head back forcefully and a sinister grin.

“Would we have fucked first, just like this?” He snarls, watching the emotions flickers over Naoki’s face. “Would you let me ride you, then get strangled in my sleep?!”

“What?” He gasps, struggling now. Izaya tights his hold, slamming his head back against Shizuo’s hard and uncarpeted floor.

“You knw, before you killed me?!" He tries to keep his voice below a shout, lest the neighbors hear. 

“You’re so fucking insane!” Naoki growls louder than Izaya, and he starts laughing. A crazed, manic, pained laughter. 

“Says the _murderer!”_ He gasps through crazed giggles, feeling his prey stiffen. Those stormy blue eyes (he’d wondered if they were contacts, but never dismissed them as real when his own were such a deep blood red) are so sincere and confused that he almost believes it. It might not have been Naoki, he might be working for someone and not have a clue there’s a dead man in the closet, but Izaya is too fueled by grei-by resentment and, and... _fuck!_

“What are you _talking_ about?!” Naoki demands, and Izaya is done playing games.

He  yanks the blanket off Shizuo’s bed and holds in over himself as a sort of protection. He slits Naoki’s throat with his left hand, only serving one of the arteries so he’ll have time to talk. Blood gushes, spraying some, but the blanket saves him from getting drenched. He places it over Naoki’s neck, smiling at the terror he sees in those stupid blue eyes.

That greyish color was ugly anyway.

He stands up, listening to Naoki gasp and grunt in pain. He opens the closet door and pulls Shizuo’s body out, smiling warily with a glance at one extremely wide eyed man.

“I wasn’t in the bathroom.” He says, pointing out the obvious as he crouches down and pulls Shizuo’s head onto his lap. He strokes his fingers through limp blonde locks, glad golden brown eyes are closed.

 _“G-guh…”_ Naoki is starting to lose consciousness, but Izaya doesn’t look over. He’d wanted to question him, find out why he killed Shizuo and what his plans were, but looking down at Shizuo… he can’t look away. His vision is a little blurry, if you can believe it, and he swallows down a lump.

Click. Click click.

Izaya frowns when he hears something. He glances around the room, over Naoki’s unconscious body, but can’t find a source. The bedroom is still, no signs of anything suspicious.

Click click! Click!

A faint green glow draws his eyes back to Naoki, just enough light shining to see a bloodied black insect crawling out from the slit in Naoki’s throat. The man is likely only unconscious, but it won’t be long till he’s dead.

The insect, a beetle on horrified closer inspection, tumbles down the bloody man's neck and onto the floor. It rights itself with some struggle, and crawls towards he and Shizuo’s body. It’s a dung beetle by the looks of it, or a Scarab beetle as the Egyptians called it.

“How in the hell…” Izaya whispers, no explanation as to how it was alive inside that man's neck. Or what it was even doing in Japan, in the heart of Ikebukuro! The bright green glow didn’t make sense either, of course.

Clickclickclick!

Did they even make that clicking noise? Izaya wasn’t sure, but the closer it got the more it clicked and the more it glowed. It was headed in a straight path for Shizuo, bloody armored body shining. The green light started to swirl around the room, warm when it brushed past Izaya and rustled his hair. The beetle’s creepy little legs latched onto Shizuo’s hair, though Izaya was quick to knock it away and pull his… pull Shizuo’s limp closer to him. Strange, how he seemed to be getting less stiff the more the lights swirled, but Izaya was too preoccupied by a naughty little beetle to think about it.

“Oh no.” He tsks at it, shaking a finger at the bug flailing to get upright again. “You’re not climbing in his neck. If you want a dead body so much, go back to him.” He points at Naoki, frowning when the now upright beetle seems to almost...shake his head? It’s hard to tell, considering he’s small and doesn’t technically have a neck (does it?) and tries to climb onto Shizuo again.

“You’d best let him, loverboy.” Izaya’s head snaps up, finding an old woman smiling at him. She’s dressed up like a gypsy, and the green swirls of light are centered around her. She’s got the same eyes as Naoki, same skin tone too, but no accent.

“...what!?” He hisses, hugging Shizuo’s body like a child might a teddy bear. He feels warm, startlingly so, and Izaya is having a hard time breathing past the shock. ‘I’m losing it. I’ve gone and snapped!’

“Oh you were always on the crazy side!” She laughs, waving a hand like he’s said something silly when he hasn’t said anything at all. “Why worry about snapping now? You’re fine, and that touch of insanity won’t stop him from adoring you a few months down the line.”

“Stop who…?” He asks, bristling a little when she gives him a look.

“I think you know.”

“He’s dead!” Izaya protests, and she laughs.

“He is. Until my little friend gets in there.” She points at the beetle, arched up on it’s sticky little legs like it’s annoyed with Izaya’s stubbornness. He relaxes his arms after a moment of hesitation, allowing Shizuo’s pretty blond locks to brush the floor. The beetle scurries forward, latching onto his hair and starting to climb.

“Do you know what animal you remind me of?” The old gypsy woman asks, sitting down in front of him. The lights swirl around them like a shield, warm and safe.

“A spider?” He jokes, smiling warily at the beetle traveling up Shizuo’s chin. “A louse? Maybe even a flea…?” He jokes, laugh cut short when she strikes the back of his head with surprising strength.

“I said an ANIMAL!” She snaps, old face wrinkled more with her irritation. “I have no idea why this dummy thinks you’re so smart.”

“A snake.” He hisses back with narrowed eyes. “A black cat. A pig. Something unpleasant or disturbing, right?” He flinches when she raps her knuckles against his head, rather hard too. Izaya considers flashing his knife at her, and she actually slaps him.

“Do it and you’ll regret it.” She snaps, the glowing balls of green energy puffing angrily  
behind her, and he backs down.

“Now, then…” She sighs, posing his temple again. “Where’s that narcissism? That manic energy? Hmm? You’re being awfully mild and bitter.”

“I think you know why.” He snaps back, feeling caged and alone suddenly. She smiles.

“A bird.”

“...what?”

“You remind me most of a bird.” She coos, almost literally. There’s a flash, all the colors you could name exploding from Shizuo in a brilliant array of beauty. A glance at the gypsy and his heart stops dead for a moment. An elderly gypsy woman's body had been turned young and clothed like that of a goddess. The green swirls, standing out among the rest of the brilliant lights, are hiding her face from view as she stands with her arms spread wide.

 ** _“The Egyptians only got one thing wrong,”_ ** She speaks, and Izaya’s eyes blow wide on shock as the light moves away.

“No way…” He whispers, heart pounding painfully in the brilliantly lit, warm bedroom.

 ** _“The sun God Ra, creator of the world and a symbol of creation, was a woman!”_** She’s got the head of a bird now, beady black eyes blinking rapidly as her beak opens to somehow speak to him. _**"Little known fact, I'm also quite the matchmaker."**_ She/they/it winks. In his arms Shizuo lurches, coughing, body shaking with the force. Izaya turns his eyes away from the Bird Goddess, drawn to perhaps the only person who could distract him from a God.

Shizuo is hacking, clutching his throat with one hand and the other braced against the floor. The beetle flies from his mouth, scurrying away, and for a heart stopping moment Izaya thinks he’ll drop dead again. But instead, Shizuo turns to look at him with wide golden brown eyes.

They stare at each other, alone in the world for a few brief moments. Then Ra touches him, lays her hand on his shoulder, and his mind is transported elsewhere. Time speeds through Izaya’s head as he stares at Shizuo. When they first met, all their silly little fights, his time with Naoki, his date with Naoki, this moment, and then..it carries on.

He sees them having a date, first at a cute little restaurant, then an aquarium, then a picnic on a rooftop, and many more. They fight, and tease, and have sex, and get older along with their friends and families. They eventually take a trip to Canada, have an over the top wedding in red and navy suits, destroy the cake, kiss while covered in frosting.

There are more trips, more time spent together, till they pass in each others arms later in life. He doesn’t see the cause, but it doesn’t end there. As if looking at hundreds- no, thousands!- of TV screens, he sees their lives playing out across all universes and timelines.

He sees them as women, sees them as animals, sees them in the afterlife together, sees them alongside a gang of kids in red, sees himself in his teenage years as a private tutor for the idiot, sees them trapped together on an island, sees them in prison, traveling to alternate worlds, dating as teenagers, as werewolves, fighting titans, as doctors, a few zombie apocalypses, and as different people with similar faces.

Psyche and Tsugaru, Delic and Hibiya, Kanra and Shizuka- to name a few. Every time he sees them fall in love, sometimes sweetly and sometimes painfully, they’re always together. A universal constant. Well, there is one timeline where his legs are broken in a fight and they’re both lost, but it’s gone and drowned under better endings before he can really think about it.

“Izaya, breathe!” Someone, Shizuo, yells, and does. The room is quiet, still and dark like it should be, and he’s the one in Shizuo’s arms now. He’s warm, like Izaya always imagined he would be. He glances around the room, finding Ra and the beetle gone, and no sign of “Naoki” to be found.

“You have a lot of explaining to do.” Izaya whispers, buzzing with excitement. The things he saw are already starting to fade away, but a clear imagine of Canada and suits and cake still lingers in the sweetest way.

“Yeah?” Shizuo laughs a little, smiling down at him almost cheekily. “In exchange for what?”

“A date.” He promises, smirking back.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....what did you think? I'm SO excited to see if you guys liked the end, so I'm really really really looking forward to comments!!
> 
> Also I've been binge watching Doctor Who (David tenant and a little Christopher E) so if this had a sort of "preachy, complicated everything is beautiful and strange" kind of feel...that's why XD And also the wordings a bit britishy too but oh well,not like that's a bad thing
> 
> (I've also been dying to write a crossover between doctor who and Durarara so no one encourage me I have enough shitty stories to work on)
> 
> For Pities Sake SHOULD update soon. I know I've said that before but I dearly love that story and it won't be abandoned. I also have a start on the next chapter of Nooses Around Necks so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> As for The Bachelor...I might not finish that. Ever. I'm just out of ideas and wanting to work on more serious stuff. 
> 
> As for Spoontasti's gift work (can't remember the title, but it's the Christmas one) I think I might wait till around next Christmas to pick it back up. It's halfway done, and what's another 10-11 months?? lol

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys thought! Happy halloween! 
> 
> Oh, and yeah the strory is based on Love Potion Number 9 by The Searchers


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